Tuesday, December 6, 2016

Write Your Own PISA Post

I actually considered a Reaction to PISA Scores post and then decided that I didn't have the heart for this annual exercise in futility, and wiser heads than mine were already on the case. So instead, I'll let you take this little quiz (in, of course, multiple choice form) and in the process create a Choose Your Own Madlibs Fake Journalism story for the occasion. Enjoy!


International Testing Authorities today released the highly anticipated PISA scores. PISA stands for
           a) Programme for International Student Assessment
           b) Program for International Student Assessment
           c) Probably Isn't Scaring Anyone
           d) Problems In Silly Accounting

The scores indicate that American students have improved their international standings in
          a) math
          b) reading
          c) nothing
          d) making multiple choice decisions

But in the meantime, there has been a drop in US standing when it comes to
          a) math
          b) reading
          c) making a decent bagel
          d) bureaucratic thumb twiddling over random scores

Some educational experts have declared that the new battery of scores is a sign of
          a) something wrong with the damn teachers
          b) shift in the tides
          c) the apocalypse, due any day now since 1983
          d) everything except a failure in the test-and-punish, standards-based reforms of the last decade

On the other hand, other educational experts declared that the scores as a sign of
         a) the opposite of whatever those other guys said
         b) the awesome success of reform programs
         c) the rest of the world getting dumber
         d) America is great again already

All experts agreed that the PISA results show proof
         a) of whatever viewpoint I'm already invested in
         b) my opponents are dum-dum doody heads
         c) USA! USA! USA! USA!
         d) I'm rubber and you're glue

Further examination of the results and interpretations of them show that
        a) innumeracy is a problem among education writers
        b) lots of folks don't understand how stack ranking works
        c) writing about boring data is hard
        d) measuring the educational attainment of entire nation's is mostly impossible

The PISA is an international test that serves to measure educational achievement in nations that don't even speak the same languages. Its validity and accuracy has been established by
          a) the organization that created it
          b) tiny invisible accountants
          c) hopes and dreams
          d) insisting real hard repeatedly

Somwhere, a handful of education historians are repeatedly trying to remind us
          a) the US has always ranked low on these international tests
          b) the US has always ranked low on these international tests
          c) the US has always ranked low on these international tests
          d) the US has always ranked low on these international tests

In the weeks ahead, education thought leaders and policy wonks will, in response to these scores
          a) beat their PR horse to death
          b) make no meaningful policy recommendations or decisions
          c) move on to the next shiny object
          d) all of the above

The best headline pun for this article would include
         a) anything with Tower of Pisa
         b) malPISAnce
         c) PISA'n me off
         d) The Princess and the PISA

1 comment:

  1. Excellent job, Peter. I have a take on the same topic. Mine isn't multiple-choice. Therefore, my blog on this is
    (a) better
    (b) worse
    (c) more authentic
    (d) less ridiculous
    (e) all of the above
    (f) none of the above
    (g) I opt out of this test
    (h) I take the Fifth Amendment