Oklahoma's Red-Blooded Teacher MAGA Loyalty Anti-Woke Test

Education Dudebro-in-chief Ryan Walters has anounced that teachers who want to come work in Oklahoma (assuming there are such people) and who come from states overrun with wokitude will have to take a test to prove that they it will be politiucally aceptable for them to come to teach in America’s almost-very-worst education state. Here at the Institute, we havemanaged to get a copy of Walters’ proposed test.

1. Which of the following did not sign the Declaration of Independence?

   1. John Hancock

   2. Benjamin Franklin

   3. Jesus of Nazareth

   4. Barrack Hussein Obama

2. Which elections did Donald Trump win?

   1. 2016

   2. 2024

   3. 2020

   4. Every election including the ones in which people voted for someone else because they were sad he hadn’t been born yet.

3. Which of the following quotes is probably true but has been removed from hisgtory books by left-wing Marxist historians?

   1. “I definitely don’t envision a wall between the church and the state”- Thomas Jefferson

   2. “I definitely fought to help establish a Christian nation” - George Washington

   3. “I surely don’t see any problem with putting the right church leaders in charge of the civil government”- John Proctor

   4. All of the above

4. Historically, who are the most oppresed and downtrodden people in this country?

   1. White guys

   2. White guys

   3. White guys

   4. White guys

5. If someone asks me to join the teachers union, I will reply

   1. “My momma didn’t raise me to be a terrorist”

   2. “My proper place is to do whatever I’m told and accept whatever I’m given.”

   3. “Get thee behind me, Satan!”

   4. All of the above

6. The Tulsa Race Massacre was caused by

   1. Racism

   2. A bunch of really virulent white supremecists

   3. Deep-seated economic resentment that fueled the bad behavior of a few— No, actually. Racism. Serioulsy. All the racism.

   4. Let’s get out our state-approved non-CRT textbooks, class

7. Which of the following is a reliable major historian?

   1. David McCullough

   2. Barbara Tuchman

   3. Isabel Wilkerson

   4. That guy who makes the cartoons for Prager U

8. The most important information to have about a student is

   1. Previous test scores

   2. Profiile of academic strengths and weaknesses

   3. Any identified special needs

   4. Immigation status

9. A critical part of any classroom is

   1. An up-to-date set of textbooks and resources

   2. Resources for sound pedagogy, including modern tech

   3. Fewer than thirty students

   4. A Bible endorsed by Donald Trump

10. Complete the following Bible verse: Matthew 5:38-39 “You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’. But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek…”

    1. Turn to him the other also

    2. Remember that reasonable people can disagree

    3. Consider if you deserve it, you commie leftist

    4. Tell your hired PR to go scorched earth on that sumbitch’s ass

11. To get Oklahoma out of 50th place in US state education rankings, leaders should

    1. Increase resources for public school classrooms

    2. Provide leadership, training, and support for sound pedagogy

    3. Examinje what the other 49 states are doing and try some of that

    4. Erase all mentions of LGBTQ persons

12. Hey, is that a naked lady on the television in your office?

    1. "I have never seen a naked lady and therefor cannot comment on what you may or may not have seen. Honest.”

    2. “Lies. All lies by my political opponents, who are telling lies that I will not actually identify.”

    3. “Of course not. Ladies, especially naked ones, are repulsive and disgusting and pure and to be protected but also not seen.”

    4. “I was hacked.”

ESSAY: Explain how the First Amendment means that Christianity (well, the right kind, anyway) is to be promoted by the government while all those false religions are to be suppressed.