Friday, April 17, 2015

Testing To Show Off

As pro-test forces scramble to come up with some good reason for New York's students to take the Big Standardized Test, we get this gem of a quote from DFER in USA Today:

Yet collecting educational data is important for the future of education and can help define the the character of a town, said Nicole Brisbane, state director at Democrats for Education Reform.

"Schools are one of the biggest differentiators of value in the suburbs," she said. "How valuable will a house be in Scarsdale when it isn't clear that Scarsdale schools are doing any better than the rest of Westchester or even the state? Opting out of tests only robs parents of that crucial data."

Man, is that flop sweat I smell?

So what are we to make of this, DFER? That testing is meant to be another way to cement the elite stamp of elite awesomeness on elite housing in elite communities with elite schools?

Or should we conclude that previously, nobody anywhere ever had any idea whether the schools in Scarsdale were any good or not?

The second question is my favorite, as it is just one more implication of the bizarre notion that not only can Common Core BS Tests tell us how well a school is doing, but ONLY Common Core BS Tests can tell us how a school is doing. Yessiree-- folks in Scarsdale had no idea whether their schools were any good or not, ever, until the BS Tests came to town.

But at least we have a great new reason that all students need to take those tests-- without them, the Betters would have one less badge of their Betterness. Testing will help us put Those People in their place. Don't let your class down! Don't let the property values drop! Get in there and take a test for the team. Of course, this would also be an excellent reason for everyone in the less wealthy neighborhoods to avoid taking the tests under any circumstances...


  1. Thank you DFER for showing your true colors and the true agenda of education reform.

  2. When I first read their quote, I had to make sure I wasn't reading an Onion article.

  3. So, 2 Democrats- Tammy Baldwin & Michael Bennett - helped keep the federal tap WIDE open for testing corporations to develop & market the new tests that can then be fed into new data banks & disappear into the cloud. Someone please explain how this relieves the burden on schools? It's more of the same big data suck that Arne promised his future employers.
    "Grants to states to improve the quality and reliability of state assessments (Sen. Tammy Baldwin, D-Wisc.)
    An amendment to improve data collection methods and systems, intended to reduce the burden on school districts (Sen. Michael Bennet, D-Colo.)"

  4. Hilarious that she choose Scarsdale as an example. Scarsdale, several years ago, had an all out testing revolt by the parents. They then completely ditched AP courses and came up with their own version of such, sold the idea to the top colleges their students go to, and did so successfully. Scarsdale is hardly the poster child for lemming-like behavior.

    1. That is hilarious. Just another indicator how clueless these people are.

  5. The Sneetches and the Sneetch Leeching Machine: A Poem for Presidential Candidates

    By Dr. Spoof

    Now the Sneetches of Harlem had schools that had data

    But the Sneetches of Scarsdale were sure theirs were greater

    Reformers said, “Look! There's no swell information

    On each little Sneetch's life destination!”

    Reformers showed this to each legislator

    The problem: to whom should the colleges cater

    And also those businesses with a job or career?

    How would they distinguish Sneetches there, Sneetches here?

    When up drove a chappie with a profitable scheme

    It was Dunkin' McDuncan in his Sneetch Leech Machine

    “My Machine gathers data!” he cajoles and he hollers

    “My Machine will just cost a few billion tax dollars!

    “It can also rate teachers when we capture the datas

    And testing makes new jobs by new job creators

    'Cause everyone knows that when you are in poverty,

    If you get lots of testing it will lead to equality.”

    So the states bought the testing -what else could be chosen?

    They knew No Child Left Behind was doin' school closin'

    With a deadline approaching-even those that were braver

    Signed that Race To the Tippity -Tip-Topp-y Waiver.

    So then every April the Sneetch Leech machine started

    And the little Sneetch students were very down-hearted

    And teachers were told their careers could be ending

    'Cause jobs based on scores was a trend that was trending.

    When out in the public there arose such a clatter

    of opt-outs and protests on the Test Machine matter

    Away to the blog posts DFERs flew without resting

    To seek a more clement climate for testing.

    But the Opt-Out Movement from Broadway to the tulies

    Questioned the testing of all their schoolies

    And here is the question by those questioning questors:

    Which Side Are You On? With The Kids or the Testers?