Have I Got This Straight?

Teachers cannot be trusted with fragile young minds, because we will try to inculcate them with Very Naughty Ideas, like socialism...

But we can be trusted to use guns around those young minds.

Teachers cannot be trusted to professionally set and follow their own academic standards, and probably shouldn't design curriculum either...

But we should use guns in school.

Teachers must stop teaching and give a standardized test every year because they can't be trusted to do their job unless the test is there to check up on them. In fact, we have spent the last fifteen years developing a whole new system of schooling that is based on the assumption that teachers can't be trusted to do their jobs well...

But we can be trusted to use a gun in school.

Teachers, in many cases, are not allowed to use copy machines or laminators or other scary equipment...

But we should be allowed to use guns in school.

Teachers have shown a measurable tendency to act out of bias and prejudice...

But we should allowed to use our judgment when assessing a threat and shooting a gun at it.

Teachers can't have the money for new books, new equipment, new supplies, improved building conditions, or boxes of Kleenex...

But we have money to buy them guns and gun training.

Black teachers who legally carry guns outside of school should expect to be questioned, held, maybe arrested, possibly killed...

But everyone will be totally cool with letting them use guns in school.

Teachers have to be taken to the Supreme Court in order to hamper their ability to organize into a group of union thugs....

But we should use guns in school.

Teachers should be forbidden to strike or interfere with the school system bosses or otherwise refuse to do as their told without trying to exert their own judgment...

But we should be free to use guns in school as we see fit.

Teachers in public school are so terrible and have failed so badly that an entire new system of schools should be opened up so that students can escape those terrible public school teachers...

But we terrible teachers should be allowed to use guns in our schools.

Teachers cannot have support staff like psychologists or counselors or librarians or aides...

But we should have a gun.

Teachers are such a low-skill workforce that the best way some states can think of to get more is to just lower the requirements to fill a teaching job. In those states you don't need any special training at all to enter a classroom...

And they should also use a gun in school.

Teachers represent such a scary bunch of liberals that the NRA has taken to pushing videos and talking points about how the country is basically at war because those (Jews) liberals and (Jews) socialists are out to take away everyone's freedom and we should all arm ourselves heavily so that we can shoot those (Jews) liberal socialist unionist Democrats before they destroy the country...

But yeah-- the ones that are teachers? Give them guns to use in school.


Look, I totally get that "arm teachers" is a response, in some cases, to a reasonable, heartfelt desire to do something-- anything-- to change the script and reduce school shootings in this country (and in other cases it's an attempt to do something-- anything-- other than implement reasonable gun control, plus it sells more guns). I sympathize with that desire.

But policy makers and talking heads and various leader-ish types have spent the last decades hammering home that teachers are awful and failing and anti-liberty and not to be trusted, and that schools are money-sucking black holes that should have their budgets slashed and slashed some more.

So when you tell us that all of a sudden maybe we should be trusted using guns (because that's what we're really talking about-- not carrying guns in school, but using guns in school) around children and maybe there is a money tree somewhere that can pay for this massive new requirement for equipment and continuous training-- well, excuse us if our eyes start to roll so heavily that we get dizzy.

And if you're serious about trusting us so much, and having so much money to spend, then we have a few ideas more useful than arming teachers.