The Undemocratic School Primer

There are many ways to divide up the sides of the education debates. One is between those who believe in civic democratic ideals and those who do not.

We're talking about two very different premises, and how they result in entirely different educational approaches.

Premise 1: All human beings have equal worth and are equally deserving of autonomy, opportunity, power, and privilege.

Under this premise, the school system would exist to provide opportunity to all students. Each student would be entitled to the chance to pick a path and pursue it to the extent of their ability. The school system would exist for the uplift of all young humans, and one of our big challenges would be to get resources to all students, regardless of their socio-economic origins. That would include special resources for students with special needs as well as resources targeted for particular cultural and community settings. 

For much of US history, this has been our stated premise, even if we have had a hard time working through the implications of that premise and living up to them.

Premise 2: Some human beings have more value than others, and are more deserving of autonomy, power, and privilege. 

This premise takes us to a very different place. It envisions a society with various layers; some people are destined to be Betters, to live at the top, and others are destined to be Lessers, to serve as meat widgets or other specific functions in society. In fact, it argues, much of the discontent and difficulty in society comes from people trying to live outside their proper roles.

In that world, schools exist not for uplift, but for sorting, to help everyone find and settle happily into their proper place. Betters may learn arts and culture and what we think of as a broad liberal education. But future meat widgets need to learn marketable skills, job skills that will make them useful to their future corporate-boss Betters. Betters get privilege and power because they are entitled to it; Lessers must work and provide value (as determined by Betters) to "earn" every bit of privilege and power.

For Lessers, obedience and compliance are important. For the most extreme cases, children and women are automatically Lessers who are expected to comply and obey. Schools are supposed to reinforce that message, reminding students that they are under the sole and complete control of their parents and must never, ever question that control. It will be good practice for them when they enter the workforce.

Because individuals are of value, everything in life must be navigated on an individual basis. Every person should be "free" to take their proper place in society; to try to "help" them by lifting them above their station or providing them with privileges they haven't earned is wrong, a crime against God and nature, and will (some folks are sure) simply make those artificially uplifted person unhappy and dissatisfied (like all those women who pursued a career instead of taking their natural place as a home-staying baby-maker). 

That emphasis on compliance and obedience also manifests in a belief that there is one true correct answer to all questions, and so education is about transmitting the Correct Answers. That helps teach compliance to an outside authority as well as locking in one natural order with everyone in their proper place. 

When someone like Betsy DeVos argues for school choice as a way for each student to find their proper fit, they're talking about tiers of schools set up to handle the different proper natural tiers of society. Future meat widgets don't need to learn calculus or read Shakespeare. The DeVosian crowd definitely does not mean that there should be all sorts of different schools (like wacky lefty schools or Islamic academies), but just different layers of schools that teach the correct christianist truth appropriate to the place of that set of students in the social order.

For Betters, things go on much as always-- if you have wealth and privilege and power, that proves you deserve wealth and privilege and power, so carry on. For Lessers, the message is that you need to earn the right to even get by in your proper place.

Further complicating matters-- nobody believes that they are a Lesser. It's always Those People Over There.

None of this is new, but these days Betterism believers are enjoying plenty of power, and they are aggressively pursuing all the Lessers that they feel have snuck out of place. LGBTQ people should disappear. Women should get busy making babies. Young human future meat widgets should start working right now. Everyone ought to be properly worshipping the conservative christianist God. People from non-Caucasian countries should get to their proper place, which is Not Here. Everyone should stop invoking "civil rights" to move Lessers above their proper station. Tech world brogliarchs and other Betters should not have any restraints put on them. And schools should be telling students to always obey their parents in all things. 

There's not really any point to arguing that this is all undemocratic-- these folks don't particularly believe that democracy is a good idea. And it's not always easy to talk through the issues with them because some of the words have different meanings; we can all say that every child should get the education they deserve or that is best suited to them, but we mean different things. 

Nor are all school choice fans bettersists. I'm not even sure that some school choice fans really understand who they've teamed up with.

Betterists pose a real challenge to any sort of discussion or debate about education in this country, because they hold a fundamentally different view of the purpose of education, a profoundly different idea about how the country is supposed to work. I have met, personally and virtually, plenty of people I disagree with, but with whom I share some basic values. However, I don't see a bridge to the Betterists and their belief that some people deserve less than others. And I suspect that may be an education policy sticking point in this country for a few years to come. 

The Teacher Who Helped Launch An Entertainment Empire

If you watch the hit Netflix series Stranger Things (I'm a few seasons behind, because my tolerance for ick is limited), you may have noticed a new-to-tv face in the new season. It's a teacher, and she has some great things to say about teaching. Co-creator Ross Duffer explained the casting choice on Instagram

Miss Harris is played by Hope Hynes Love.
She was our high school drama teacher.

High school was rough for me and my brother. But Hope saw something in us we didn’t see in ourselves — and she helped give us the confidence to not only survive those four years, but to move to LA and chase our dreams.

Shoutout to all the teachers out there making a difference.

And please… let’s prioritize the arts in schools. ✌️

How cool is that?

Love is currently the artistic director at East Chapel Hill High School in Chapel Hill, North Carolina, but she taught the Duffer brothers back when she was teaching theater back at C.E. Jordan High School in Durham Public Schools. 

Netflix Tudum interviewed the veteran educator, who explained how it happened:

The boys — that’s my phrase for [Matt and Ross Duffer] — and I have been in touch since they graduated. When Season 4 came out, I was like, “Guys, you’re amazing.” And they’re like, “Oh, thank you so much. We actually thought we had a cameo for you in [Season 4], but it didn’t work out. We had to cut it.” And I looked at my husband, and I was like, “Yeah, how nice are they? This is a lovely lie. They’re so gracious.”

And then — I’m going to say December 2023 or January 2024 — I got a little message from them. They’re like, “Hey, I know you’re really busy, but if you think you can make the time, it’ll probably be in the summer, and can we make it happen? We think we might have a small role for you in the next season. Do you think you could do it?”

I, of course, wrote them back and said, “Boys, listen. Yes, I certainly would make that work. But I have to tell you, you could put me on a stage anywhere in the world, and I’m confident. … But I haven’t done camera work since I put myself through graduate school. Who knows whether I’m up to snuff anymore. You might want to audition me. I’m happy if that’s the process I need to go through, but as long as you promise that you’ll fire me if I suck, as was the contract we had when you were my students, I absolutely trust you. Let’s see.” And they're like, “Yeah, whatever. Here’s the casting director. She’ll be in touch with you.”

I was hedging at the beginning, and they were all in, which is lovely of them.

Love did not actually audition, but she did call in an old acting friend and had to "take my own advice, which is the worst thing as a teacher." Asked what the appearance meant to her, she explained

It’s everything. You always want your students to look back on their time with you as a valuable use of their youth. That the things that they invested in you and your program have served them well. It’s lovely when they reach back and go, “I’m doing this cool thing. Do you want to come see if you think it’s cool?” And I’m like, “Absolutely.” Why would that change just because you’re not 16 anymore, and you’re 30? Yes, I want to come see your cool thing. Isn’t that the deal between us?

Isn't that the deal, indeed. I'm also fully impressed by her explanation of her attitude toward educating her students. The interviewer asked if she was surprised by the Duffers' success, but her answer hits at the heart of educating students in any field:

I train all of my students so that if they ever are doing this professionally, they’re ready. I’ve always said, “I don’t teach high school actors. I teach artists who happen to be of high school age.”

What I often say at my beginning level is, “If you never do this, you’re going to learn some skills that will serve you well in your life. And if you do this for forever, I want to start you the way I wish somebody had started me” — with a solid foundation and with an understanding of what this takes and taking themselves seriously. Your work doesn’t [only] matter in graduate school or when you get your first Netflix gig.

The quality of your work and your reputation and integrity as an artist is now in how you’re showing up in class, how you’re showing up every day … how you talk about somebody who gets cast, and you don’t get cast. That’s who you are. It’s not somewhere in the future, it’s now. And you’re not an actor once you get a part on a Netflix show. You’re an actor if you’re showing up, and you’re doing the work every single day, period. You don’t need anybody else outside of you to tell you [that] you are something. You are it if you’re doing it. Full stop.

Yes. And that's true for teaching a writer or a scientist or a welder. One of the worst mistakes schools make is to treat students as if they are children just putting in time before they start the real work of their lives. That attitude excuses treating them as less-than-completely human. Their life isn't in the future-- it's going on right now. And students themselves often need to be reminded of that.

No mention in any articles of how Love's students did on their Big Standardized Test scores. 

AL: Not That Choice!

Tommy Tuberville, who is somehow a contender for the governorship of Alabama, joins the roster of school choice advocates who are actually against school choice.

Tuberville has been an impassioned advocate for school choice. "School choice brings the power of the free market, which is what we’re supposed to be, to our education system," "Coach" Tuberville bloviated during one speech in January 2024, in which he explained that his passionate concern for education for every child was why he ran for Senate. In September 2024 he unleashed more of the same:

School choice also shifts control away from Washington to parents. We can’t have a one-size-fits-all approach to education. For some students, a charter school might be best. For others, homeschooling is the ideal learning environment. For others, the local public school is the best path. Parents know their kids best and have the innate right to make the best decision for their child.

Except that some parents shouldn't have any choice at all.

Lasat week, Tuberville decvided to join in on the discussion about whether or not to approve the Islamic Academy of Alabama. And it was not to declare that school choice is a critical part of a bright future for every child. In fact, he had this to say about the school, which he says is "a tool used to influence young people and convert them to Islam (from AL.com).

In the future, in a year, I’ll be the governor, and I’ll be damned if we’re going to do that in the state of Alabama. We’re going to protect the people of Alabama; we’re going to protect our constitution. We’re going to protect our state and we’re going to protect our country.

Islam, says Tuberville (and, sadly, many of his supporters) is a "conquering cult" that is trying to take over the country, and in an appearance on the how-is-still-here bottom-feeding Infowars he vowed to fight it as governor. He told the host "there was no room for Muslims in Alabama and called the religion a cult that was a threat to America."

The school was seeking a zoning variance so it can move to a larger site in a city next to the city of its current location; in other words, Tuberville and company were not just attacking a hypothetical school, but an existing one with real live human students. Assistant principal Stacy Abdein pointed out that this kind of rhetoric demonizes and endangers those young humans.

When public officials spread dangerous myths about innocent students and families, they embolden hostility and increase the likelihood of harassment or targeted threats, undermining the safety and well being of our entire school community.

The school has been in ts current location for around thirty years. But some of us are feeling our MAGA oats. Protestors are the meeting held signs about the 100 year plan, a supposed plan for Muslims to turn the US into an Islamic nation in a century. Another speaker cited the supposed takeover of Britain by Muslims, echoing the idea in Trump's new National Security Strategy document which says Europe is in trouble because white folks are becoming a minority there. 

The city decided not to approve the school, citing zoning concerns and not, say, the virulent racism displayd by residents and an actual United States Senator. The school has announced it will stop trying. Meanwhile Tuberville (previously noted 2023's Dumbest Senator of the Year) is somehow still a viable candidate for governor. 

School choice? Tuberville is solidly against it, unless school choice means only choices that he approves of for people he approvs of. And despite what theory of choice advocates pursue, time after time, particularly in MAGAfied localles, this is what choice looks like. 

 

ICYMI: Chorus Edition (12/7)

The CMO of the Institute (that's Chief Marital Officer) sings in a community chorus because, among other reasons, she objectively has a voice much like that of an angel. It is one of those small town community things that we are able to enjoy, an example of how the people in a small town come together in a variety of different ways. Part of what is essential to the small town life is that you meet a lot of individuals in more than one context; that goes double for teachers. It's rare that you know a person just one way. The guys I used to buy my tires from grew up down the street from me and I used to babysit them; later I taught their children in school. And until they went out of business last month, I bought my tires from them, just like I used to buy them from their father. I have a million stories like that. Everyone in a small town does.

So anyway, this afternoon the CMO will sing with a community chorus an assortment of Christmas tunes and it will be lovely. December is an especially busy time for musicians. Please remember to show some appreciation to whatever musicians are lighting up your community.

Now for this week's list.

A Quiet Revolution Is Improving Schools

At The Progressive, Jeff Bryant points out that the community school movement is showing some real gains, even as the regime is not interested in supporting them.

How Trump 2.0 upended education research and statistics in one year

Jill Barshay at Hechinger Report takes us through the timeline of the regime's assault on actual education data and how that is taking us into a world in which we'll be flying blind when it comes to knowing what is really going on in schools.

Quinta Brunson wants thousands of Philly kids to have free school field trips

Philadelphia Inquirer has the story of Brunson's new field trip fund for Philly schools. Well done.

Kansas City tripled its share of Latino teachers in recent years so students can 'feel seen'

In 2019, just 1% of educators were Latino. The school district actually did something about it.

Which Parents Get “Parental Rights?” In This Ohio School, It’s Those Who Hate LGBTQ+ People

Parental rights are only for certain parents; that's always been a feature of the movement. Kelly Jensen at Bookriot shows how that plays out in one particular district.

Youth. For Christ? At School?

Youth For Christ is yet another group that believes the door is wide open for them to start recruiting in schools. Nancy Flanagan takes a look.

What is Heritage's "Phoenix Declaration"?

Several pieces have been written about this slice of baloney, but if you'd like one more look, here's a perspective from Steve Nuzum.

First Focus on Children’s Bruce Lesley Decries Trump’s Abandonment of Our Society’s Vulnerable Children

Jan Resseger looks into Bruce Lesley's dynamite piece about abandoning children.

‘An Education’ by Diane Ravitch — My Review

Gary Rubinstein offers his review of Diane Ravitch's newest book. Do you have your copy yet? Get on it.

Teaching in a Season of Fascism

Matt Brady argues that when cruelty is policy, teachers are called to do some of the most important work in the country.

50 years after the birth of special education, some fear for its future under Trump

Happy birthday, Special Ed! Let's hope you've got a few more years left. Cory Turner looks at the occasion for NPR.

The Case Against Standardized Testing

Cameron Dick's article will tell you nothing that you already know. But this piece was published at Zen Parent, and if you are looking for something to share with someone who is new to the issue, this is a fine choice.

3 states are challenging precedent against posting the Ten Commandments in public schools – cases that could land back at the Supreme Court

Charles Russo and Lydia Artz provide an overview of the current cases stacked up against posting the Ten Commandments in public schools.  At the Conversation.

Jeffrey Yass, Pennsylvania’s richest man, details how school vouchers drive his massive political spending operation in rare interview with Washington Post

The Washington Post ran an interview with Yass, but I don't have a WaPo subscription any more. However, the Philadelphia Inquirer ran a piece about the WaPo piece, and it captures many of the features of this rotten billionaire. 

Talking With Paul Kedrosky

Paul Krugman talks to Kedrosky and comes up with a pretty good explanation of AI stuff and why they are writing for a 37 year old guy on Reddit.

AI is Destroying the University and Learning Itself

If you want a really depressingly apocalyptic view of AI at the college level, Ronald Purser at Current Affairs has got you covered.

The People Outsourcing Their Thinking to AI

This Atlantic piece by Lila Shroff is worth it just for the coinage "LLeMmings." I love a good made word.

Flock Uses Overseas Gig Workers to Build Its Surveillance AI

From Wired, a reminder that sometimes AI isn't AI at all-- just a bunch of humans hiding behind a screen.

The New Anxiety of Our Time Is Now on TV

Ted Gioia connects Pluribus, fear, and the trouble with AI. 

Penn State Exceptionalism Meets Reality

What happens when a school (or, say, any organization) discovers that it's not really as exceptional as it likes to think it is? Full disclosure-- this is by Ben Jones, my nephew.

This week at Forbes.com, I took a look at two new challenges to the wall between church and state, part of the quest to feed even more tax dollars to private religious schools. Honestly, more people should have read this and paid attention, but at least a few months from now I can say, "I told you so."

This week's palate cleanser is Gregory Hines paying tribute to Gene Kelly

Feel free to sign up for my newsletter. 

Reverse Centaurs, AI, and the Classroom

Cory Doctorow gave us "enshittification" to explain much of what has gone wrong, and he is already moving on to explain much of what we suspect is wrong with the push for AI. There's a book coming, but he has already laid out the basic themes in a presentation that he shared with his on-line audience. It doesn't address teaching and education directly, but the implications are unmistakable.

We start with the automation theory term "centaur." A centaur is a human being assisted by a machine. Doctorow cites as an example driving a car, or using autocomplete. "You're a human head carried around on a tireless robot body." 

A "reverse centaur" is a machine head on a human body, "a person who is serving as a squishy meat appendage for an uncaring machine." Here's his example, in all its painful clarity:

Like an Amazon delivery driver, who sits in a cabin surrounded by AI cameras, that monitor the driver's eyes and take points off if the driver looks in a proscribed direction, and monitors the driver's mouth because singing isn't allowed on the job, and rats the driver out to the boss if they don't make quota.

The driver is in that van because the van can't drive itself and can't get a parcel from the curb to your porch. The driver is a peripheral for a van, and the van drives the driver, at superhuman speed, demanding superhuman endurance. But the driver is human, so the van doesn't just use the driver. The van uses the driver up.

Doctorow explains that tech companies are highly motivated to appear to be growth industries, and then explains how they're selling AI as a growth story, and not a pretty one. AI is going to disrupt labor.  

The promise of AI – the promise AI companies make to investors – is that there will be AIs that can do your job, and when your boss fires you and replaces you with AI, he will keep half of your salary for himself, and give the other half to the AI company.

The thing is-- AI can't do your job. So the radiology department can't fire all the radiologists and replace them with AI to read scans-- they have to hire someone to sit and check the AI's work, to be the "human in the loop" whose job is to catch the rare-but-disastrous case where the AI screws up. 

That last radiologist is a reverse-centaur, and Doctorow cites Dan Davis' coinage for the specific type-- the Last Radiologist is an "accountability sink." Says Doctorow, "The radiologist's job isn't really to oversee the AI's work, it's to take the blame for the AI's mistakes."

In education, there is potential for AI to create centaurs and reverse centaurs, and I think the distinction is useful for parsing just how horrible a particular AI application can be. 

The most extreme version of a reverse centaur is any of the bullshit AI-driven charter or mini-schools, like the absurd Alpha school chain that promises two hours on a screen will give your child all the education they need. Just let the AI teach your child! All of these models offer a "school" that doesn't need teachers at all--just a "guide" or a "coach" there to be make sure nothing goes wrong, like an AI that offers instruction on white racial superiority or students who zone out entirely. The guide is a reverse centaur, an accountability sink whose function is to be responsible for everything the AI screws up, while allowing the investors in these businesses (and they are always businesses, usually run by business people and not educators) to save all sorts of costs on high-priced teachers by hiring a few low-cost guides.

For teachers, AI promises to make you a high-powered centaur. Let the AI write your lessons, correct your papers, design your teaching materials. Except that AI can't do any of those things very reliably, so the teacher ends up checking all of the AI's work to make sure it's accurate. Or at least they should, providing the human in the loop. So the teacher ends up as either a reverse centaur or, I suppose, a really incompetent reverse centaur who just passes along whatever mistakes the AI makes. 

Almost nobody is sales-arguing that AI can make teaching better, that an AI can reach students better than another human; virtually all arguments are centered on speed and efficiency and time-saving, and while that is appealing to teachers, who never have enough time for the work, the speed and efficiency argument is appealing to management because to them speed and efficiency mean fewer meat widgets to hire, and in a field where the main expense is personnel, that's appealing. 

Public schools don't have investors to make money from cutting teachers (though private and charter schools sure do), but for AI businesses (as with all other ed tech businesses before them) cannot help but salivate at just how huge the education market could be, a $6 billion mountain just waiting to be chewed up. So education gets an endless barrage of encouragements to join the AI revolution. Don't miss out! It's inevitable! It's shiny! To teachers, the promise that it will convert them into powerful cybernetic centaurs. To managers, the promise that it will convert teachers into more compliant and manageable reverse centaurs, controlled by a panel on the screen in your office. 

And both snookered, because an AI can't do a teacher's job. "Don't worry," the boosters say. "There will always be a human in the loop." Of course there will be--because AI can't do a teacher's job. The important question is whether the AI will serve the teachers or be served by them. As a teacher in the classroom being pushed to incorporate AI ("C'mon! It's so shiny!!"), you should be asking whether the tech will be empowering you and giving you new teacher arms of steel, or will it be converting you to some fleshy support for a piece of tech. 

Right now, far more pressure is being put on the Be A Fleshy Appendage side of the discussion. Here's hoping teachers find the strength to stand up to that pressure.

Oh, and a side point that I learned in Doctorow's article that's worth remembering the next time a company wants to offer AI-generated materials--  the courts have repeatedly ruled that AI-generated materials cannot be copyrighted (because they aren't human-made). 

OK: That Anti-Trans Essay and OU's Shame

Samantha Fulnecky tried to bullshit her way through an assignment and got called out on it. Now she would like to raise the holiest of hells.

Discussion about the University of Oklahoma junior's failing grade has exploded in one more wave of right wingers complaining that they are the victims of oppression. Here's the break down of what actually happened in this bullshit flap, plus all the distractions that have been tossed into the mix.

University of Oklahoma graduate teaching assistant Mel Curth gave the assignment. Curth’s assignment asked students to write 650-word reaction papers “demonstrating that you read the assigned article, and [including] a thoughtful reaction to the material presented in the article,” according to the assignment instructions circulating online. “Possible approaches to reaction papers include: 1. A discussion of why you feel the topic is important and worthy of study (or not). 2. An application of the study or results to your own experiences.”

As a long time English teacher, I recognize the critical part of this assignment-- "demonstrating that you read the assigned article." We have all done this; you want the student to actually do the assigned reading, so you assign some sort of response requiring the student to show that they actually read the article.

Fulnecky didn't meet that requirement (her text is included in this article). Teachers will recognize the sort of constructions she used. "This article is very thought-provoking and caused me to thoroughly evaluate the idea of gender and the role it plays in our society." Later she refers to "articles like this," but the only specific reference is to a mention of peer teasing. There is no direct reference to the piece she was supposed to have read. 

When giving my students an assignment to write in response to a work, I would tell them to be specific. "If I could not guess what work you are writing about based on the references in your essay, then you have not been specific enough." Fulnecky utterly fails on that count. Nor does she offer any sorts of support for her statements. That's not strictly a requirement of the assignment, but it is a reasonable expectation of a college junior majoring in psychology. 

The bulk of the essay is anti-trans screed and assertion that right-wing christianist Biblical conservatism. It includes charges of being "demonic" and the assertion that bullying is actually a good thing. 

Curth told Fulnecky, "Please note that I am not deducting points because you have certain beliefs, but instead I am deducting points for you posting a reaction paper that does not answer the questions for this assignment, contradicts itself, heavily uses personal ideology over empirical evidence in a scientific class, and is at times offensive" and goes on to push back on some of Fulnecky's assertions about gender, and while I get the desire to correct someone who has wandered way out past the weeds in a science-based course, life would have been simpler for Curth to simply say, "You didn't address the assignment at all. F."

Curth is trans, and we will probably never know if Fulnecky was simply trying to bait Curth in order to create a narrative about evil college professors oppressing poor christianists. But Fulnecky immediately looped in Turning Point USA. Governor Kevin Stitt, and former education dudebro Ryan Walters.

Oh, and also her mother, Kristi Fulnecky. Mom is an attorney who has, among other things, defended two January 6 insurrectionists. She's a right wing podcaster who served in politics, including a stint in combat with local government when they went after her for taxes owed because she operated a business without a license; just a political witch hunt, she claimed. During the height of the pandemic, she sued over mask mandates and sued Springfield Public Schools over their hybrid re-opening plan. As a local councilwoman, she regularly blocked anyone who corrected her. She apparently is also good at threatening legal-ish letters. 

In other words, Mom has fully mastered the art of aggressive victimhood.

So maybe Samantha Fulnecky is really upset about her grade. Or maybe she is launching a career in the moral panic industry (she's already made it to Fox).

But meanwhile, the University of Oklahoma has shamed itself by benching Curth and ensuring "no academic harm to the student from the graded assignments." Meanwhile, all the usuals are praising Fulnecky's armor of God and touting this is as an example of evil professors oppressing conservatives and Governor Stitt found it all "deeply concerning."

Lord knows what Fulnecky plans to do with her degree, but maybe she won't need it if she cashes in on the right wing outrage circuit. Maybe she's just an apple that fell right next to the tree. In the meantime, I know the University of Oklahoma is in Oklahoma, but surely they can do better than bending to this kind of baloney. 

Glenn Beck's Patriotic AI Zombie

Well, something like this was inevitable.

The AI zombie market has been growing steadily. Schoolai caused a stir by unleashing an AI avatar of Anne Frank for classrooms as just one of their offerings of zombie historical figures for schools. In fact, there are now more outfits offering AI avatars for student use than I can even delve into here. Some are especially terrible; Wisdom of the Ages lets you chat (text only) with some big names of history, and within the first sentence, the Einstein avatar was talking about "he" rather than "I." Their "Adolph Hitler" also lapsed quickly into third person. Humy offers a Hello History app that promises all sorts of "engaging historical simulations" and an "in-depth and personal interaction with the historical figure of your choice." And don't forget the company that offers you the chance to take a writing class taught by a dead author. 

Then there's this horrifying ad from 2wai that promises to keep zombie Grandma around so that generations of your family can enjoy her. 

Good lord. And that's just one of many examples of the AI of Dead Relatives. I'm not sure what is worse-- the idea of dragging Grandma out of the grave or the idea that a few lines of code and some scanned letters and (2wai promises) a three minute conversation are all that's needed to capture a person's essence. No, actually, the worst part is that this encourages to understand that other people are only "real" to the extent that we perceive them and they reflect our expectations of them. These are simulations that amount to us speaking to our own reflections, empty images with no inner lives of their own. Simulacrums that exist only to provide us with an experience; voices that are silent except to speak to us. What the heck does that say about how we related to Grandma while she was alive?

Into this field of the damned comes Glenn Beck. 

Beck claims to have the "largest private collection of American founding documents in the world, surpassed only by the Library of Congress and the National Archives in Washington, D.C." And now Beck has plans for those documents, and they don't involve handing them over to a museum. Instead, on January 5, 2026, he will launch the Glenn and Tania Beck Foundation for American History, a privately funded trust, to make his collection of over a million documents accessible to everyone. 

It's the "next phase" of his career (post The Blaze), his "next disruption" and "creative venture." His foundation has created "the first independent, proprietary, AI-driven American historical library." It will come complete with its own AI zombie librarian named George, "built from the writings of George Washington himself. The writings of the Founders. The thousands of sermons that they heard from their church pulpits. The books that they -- they read. And the principles they lived by."

George is going to teach you the Real Truth, Beck promises. In fact, he guarantees that his AI will generate everything without hallucination or bias, which you might think is absolutely impossible for an AI (because it is), but Beck assures us that George is "contained within a secure, isolated server, where every document is memorized verbatim." Is there any other way that documents are stored on a hard drive?

This is not ChatGPT. This is not Wikipedia. This is verified, factual, memorized, first source truth.

Beck says that George will teach the Constitution, the Federalist papers, the civics. Beck says this project "will change EVERYTHING about education." George will counteract all those lies your teacher taught you. It's a proprietary AI database that will permanently preserve "the physical evidence of America's soul." 

There are at least two possibilities. One is that George will be a Washington-lite AI zombie that will, in fact, hallucinate and spew bias just like any other AI because Beck doesn't know what he's talking about. The other is that George has taken an old version of Jeeves and slapped a tri-corner hat on him, and that this is just a digital library with a search function because Beck doesn't understand AI, but he knows that it's a hot marketing term right now.

At least three outfits claim to have worked on an AI Zombie George Washington (here, here, and here) and they are all pretty much baloney. It makes sense that AI hucksters are going to go after the low-hanging fruit of public domain persons for zombiefication, and it makes sense that Beck, a seasoned patriotic grifter, would follow that path.

But boy is this shit a bummer, because Beck is going to wave his Giant Library around and convince a bunch of suckers that he can tell them the Real Truth about our nation's founders with even more unearned authority than he already deploys. But if AI zombies are good for anything, it's grift, and we had better steel ourselves for more of it. And please, God, keep it out of our children's classrooms.