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Friday, July 18, 2025

OK: More Woke Panic (Less Food)

Oklahoma's Edubro-in-Chief may not be able (or willing) to explain what exactly "woke" means, but he has announced his intention to by damn keep teachers from smuggling it into his state. Also, he's found another way to defund public schools.

Walters is a serious Trump fanboy, and that seems to include an interest in exerting powers he doesn't necessarily have. Take his new idea to "reform" the school meal system and "end bureaucratic bloat." The problem, apparently, is that taxpayers paid money for students to eat food last year. And somehow this is related to administrative bureaucracy? Here's part of his explanation:
Last year, Oklahoma families were slapped with a staggering $42 million bill for school meals—on top of their taxes—while administrators pocketed a 14% salary hike. This isn’t just incompetence; it’s a betrayal of our kids and communities. “Oklahoma taxpayers are being triple-taxed to cover lunches while bureaucrats fatten their wallets,” said State Superintendent Ryan Walters. “We need less administrators in our schools. We need to get taxpayers dollars to the students, not to grow bureaucracy.”

Yes, that should be "fewer" bureaucrats. But I have to say, his "solution" to this "problem" is very "creative." Walters has directed school districts to fully fund school lunches with their own money (which is somehow different from taxpayer money because reasons?) and if they can't submit a plan to do so, then "the OSDE will suggest cost-cutting measures and request that the budget be re-submitted." Because that will force them to cut spending on other stuff. And if the district is not compliant, Walters will cut off state funding (because that will really help solve the problem punish the disobedient). Also, he's going to implement a new rule to require "all meals/snacks served in Oklahoma’s schools are free of seed oils, artificial food dyes, ultra-processed foods, pesticide laden foods, and junk food vending machines to name a few." Because that kind of nanny state overreach is really bad when Michelle Obama tries to implement it, but totally okay when God-fearing MAGAbros do it. And there's even a petition to sig, because he's not trying to cut school funding-- he's trying to save the children. Come one! Think of the children!

But Walters already moved on to his next batshit crazy idea, which is to get PragerU to screen teachers coming from "woke" states so that none of their wokitude gets spread to Oklahoma's young humans. 

If you are somehow unaware of Prager University (God bless you), it's a propaganda operation founded in 2009 by far right wingnut Dennis Prager and producer Allen Estrin. It is, if you can imagine such a thing, even less of an actual university than Trump University. They're a far right, low accuracy, christianist nationalist baloney farm that specializes in short, cute, full-of-baloney videos. PragerU is to education what McRibs are to pigs. 

But Walters wants to make sure that anyone who tries to bring their teaching certificate from naughty states like New York or California (you know-- the wokey ones) aligns with Walter's commitment to an education "rooted in truth, patriotism and core values," and aimed to instill "pride" in the nation's history among students.

"We’re sending a clear message: Oklahoma’s schools will not be a haven for woke agendas pushed in places like California and New York," said Superintendent Ryan Walters. "If you want to teach here, you’d better know the Constitution, respect what makes America great, and understand basic biology. We’re raising a generation of patriots, not activists, and I’ll fight tooth and nail to keep leftist propaganda out of our classrooms." A PR release from the department said the test would evaluate teachers on, among other things, Constitutional knowledge, American exceptionalism, and "their grasp of fundamental biological differences between boys and girls."

"We’re thrilled to join Oklahoma in answering parents’ urgent call against senseless woke indoctrination," said PragerU CEO Marissa Streit. "This assessment will stop extreme leftist ideologues from harming children and ensure teachers champion America’s greatness and future potential."

News4, which has covered Walters shenanigans pretty thoroughly, submitted some questions to his office, such as was there a competitive bidding process for creating this test, how much will Prager be paid, and who will oversee this? They got no answers to those questions, nor to one of the best ones they asked--

Exactly what statute does Walters think gives him the authority for any of this?

Longtime Walters critic State Rep. Forrest Bennett (D-Oklahoma City) has pointed out that Oklahoma has a teacher shortage already and this is unlikely to help. And all of Walters actions in office happen against the backdrop of Oklahoma's almost-bottom-of-the-national-barrel rankings for education. 

"It's a grift," says Bennett, who argues that treating all of Walters edicts as if they are legitimate and deserve to be taken seriously simply elevates them. Bennett points out that Walters notified Fox News before he notified the people of Oklahoma. 

It's a fair point, but I think Walters deserves a little attention because he is the answer to the question, "How bad can these back-bench MAGA grifters get, and how badly can they screw things up on the state level?" Walters may not be able to, in the words of Captain Steven Hiller, "do all that bullshit you just said." But these various MAGAfied edicts can sow uncertainty and fear. They certainly aren't actual solutions to the real problems of education in Oklahoma, but they're a fine example of how a hustler can raise his profile by standing on the backs of children. 

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